How do I deal with my aunt and cousin’s resentment towards me?
Question by Nenita: How do I deal with my aunt and cousin’s resentment towards me?
I am a female college student, and since I was around 16 I have felt uncomfortable around one of my aunts and her daughter (my older cousin). It started during high school, my aunt began staring at me a lot. Every time I would notice and make eye contact with her, she turned away quickly. It stopped for awhile but started again when I went to college. A few months ago, my long time boyfriend(who lives with me) and I went swimming with my family. My aunt did not stop staring at me AND my boyfriend in our bathing suits. I was wearing a bikini but it was not very revealing, I always make sure everything is covered before I undress to go swimming. She made it so obvious that she was staring, I wanted to slap her. My boyfriend noticed it as well. In addition, she sometimes makes snide remarks to me, such as when I got into a minor car accident, her response was: “well that’s a dumb way to wreck your car.” and she walked away. I have also heard countless rumors about myself and my boyfriend, coming from my mother. And when I ask where she heard these rumors from, she says either my aunt or my cousin. I am starting to wonder why they are so obsessed with what I’m doing when they have their own lives to deal with. Also, I was just signed to a model/talent agency, though I haven’t began working yet and it could end up going no where, I am sure that my aunt and cousin will have something to say about that too. I am starting to feel like they do not want me to succeed. I see a therapist sometimes, and she mentioned that my aunt may resent me because I am succeeding and her children didn’t. Both her children had kids when they were in high school, didn’t go to college, were drug addicts, and one (the cousin who talks behind my back) is in her thirties with 4 kids and her parents are still paying bills for her. After my therapist said that, it made more sense as to why my aunt looks at me with such hatred in her eyes. Nevertheless, I still have to deal with it, so how can I? I wish I could completely avoid them but I’m afraid that will cause more drama and rumors. Help? Thanks.
Best answer:
Answer by nicnikkiz
Oh my gosh, are we the same person? I went through EXACTLY what you described. The lies, slander and above all JEALOUSY!!
They are so stinking jealous you have no idea, like me, i’m sure your the topic of conversation daily. Fact is, they wish they were you.
I have nothing to do with my cousins period, they really ruined my teens for me.
You got what they want, so flaunt it!
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
Honey I am vey informative with people and nice to people on giving information but this particular situation ahs gone to far.
You need to approach her and/or them and ask them what there problem is.
Let them know that she has being doing what she has been doing for the last time you can remember and it needs to stop
If she cannot tell you straight to your face nor your cousin for that matter then they need to keep there eyes and physical reactions from you and your boyfriend to themselves.
We live in a world of communication, they need to let you know what the problem is.
Hope this helps
Wow, it sounds a lot like her family feels a great deal of jealousy and resentment towards you. They seem like they are not very mature as this staring to make you uncomfortable is very childish. Remember, its their problem with you and not your problem. They choose this behavior and they are the ones who have an issue, not you. You just do what you have to do and try to let it go mentally. I know its hard but you have to remind yourself that you did nothing wrong and you have no control of they way they choose to behave toward you. Have you discussed this with your mom at all, or other members of your family? as far as the staring goes, try just smiling…I bet it drives them crazy to see that you are not being bothered by their antics and maybe they will give it up!
Omg!! Why doesn’t your mum tell them where to go? I know my Mum would (and does) if anyone was talking trash about her kids. Cut them out of your life honey. The beat revenge is for you to keep succeeding and keep looking hot in that bikini! Don’t let them know it bothers you. Just keep your pretty head held high. You’re better than that